Lost
by Camaro-Enthusiast
Summary: Can you miss something you don't remember losing? Or even having? What if it's your mind? Dasey. New Chapters Up! COMPLETE.
1. Prologue

**Prologue **

* * *

_You're distraught, and you don't know why. I don't tell you. No one does._ _You just woke up, and to you, everything's wrong. Well, something's wrong for us too. You just don't know it yet. The doctors don't know why this happened. Does anyone really know why? _

* * *

Casey sits on the bed, flipping through a blue, cloth-bound book. At the first entry, she looks to the writer.

"I don't remember you, at the beginning. When I woke up," she clarifies.

"Because I wasn't there."

"You're the most annoying brother."

His brown eyes flash angrily. "I'm your _step-_brother."

Casey's lip quivers and he sighs, "Sorry."

Her blue eyes study him, distrust clouded by tears.

He leans down and kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry, Casey. Really."

"I don't believe you," she accuses, crossing her arms over her pink and purple pajamas. With those, and her hair in pigtails, it's all too easy for him to picture her as a child. Before he would've laughed at her, and the mental image… Now, it was too painful, too harsh and much too close to reality.

Before… he thinks like that a lot, lately.

He gives her a half-grin, only a shadow of his famous smirk, and wraps his arms around her, spinning her around then dropping her lightly back on the bed.

"Der-ek!" she giggles and kisses him on the cheek. "I love you bro."

That's it. The stalemate. This stupid joke he's stuck in, as the punch line. His own personal torture. It royally sucks. "Love you too."

She smiles happily and cuddles down in the pillows. "Good night, Der."

"G'night, Casey."

She's asleep almost instantly. He's always envied her ability to do that, even back when they were teens.

He takes the journal from her bedside and puts it in a drawer before shutting off the lights and propping open the door a few inches before he left her bedroom.

He flicks on his computer. The screen has a picture of him and Casey. The old Casey, not this one. This one is afraid of the dark, and is his little sister. The old Casey, _his_ Casey (the one he'd insisted he never lo—liked) wasn't afraid to argue with him, or to try new things.

His dad, and Nora, and Casey's doctors, have been trying to convince him for nearly a year and a half. He may never get that Casey, _his_ Casey, back. Ever.

Derek Venturi doesn't give up hope that easily. Ever.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_It's my fault. Everyone thinks so. You would too, if you could remember. But you can't. So this whole stupid thing is pointless. Let it be known, your mom is making me do it. _

There are a lot of places he could start. He could start at the beginning.

* * *

"Derek?"

"What, Dad?" The fifteen year old barely looks up from his video game with his best friend.

The man crosses his arms. "Sam, go home. It's nearly dinner time."

"Sure, Mr. V," the blonde boy nods, setting his controller on the couch. "Later, D."

"Whatever, dude."

"Derek."

The auburn boy looks at his father with bored eyes. "Yeah?"

"What," George Venturi sits down beside his eldest son, "would you say if I told you I was getting married again?"

"You said you and Mom didn't love each other anymore."

The lawyer sighs. "No, Derek. I wouldn't be marrying your mother, again..."

"Why?"

"Well, it'd be pointless, and repetitive, and that was—"

"Dad!" Derek interrupts. "I'd say 'why?' if you told me that. Are you telling me that?"

"Her name is Nora." There's a smile on his dad's face. Derek hasn't seen one that big since Marti learned to say 'Dada.'

"Where's she from?"

"Toronto."

Derek studies his father. "I'm not moving to Toronto."

"She has kids."

"What?" _No. Way._

"Two daughters. Lizzie's the same age as Edwin. Bit of a tomboy, from what her mother tells me."

"And?" _Please, please, let it be a girl Marti's age._

"Casey. Five months younger than you."

Derek grits his teeth.

George groans at his son's lack of reaction. "Derek. She's pretty and if she's going to be your sister, there'll have to be some ground rules."

"Dad, ew. I'm not going to have my way with my stepsister on the kitchen table. Chill."

George grimaces and shows Derek the family photo Nora'd given him.

His son cusses, and George can't help but agree.

* * *

That'd be a bit repetitive, though. Lots of 'Der-EK!'s' Fast forward, to that moment.

* * *

"Fine, Casey. Be a coward!" Derek shouts, stomping away and leaving the crying girl beside the fountain in the Quad.

"You bas—" her voice is cut off by a resounding KA-BOOM.

The force of the explosion sends him flying to the ground. The three seconds after the explosion's roar subsides are complete silence before everyone starts screaming and running around all over the campus.

Picking himself up, the Queens' hockey player turns around slowly. The fountain's gone. Instead the ground is littered with its pieces and bodies. Dead bodies, bleeding bodies. As the lead photographer for the Uni newspaper, he knows he should get out his camera. But he can't.

His eyes search frantically for the girl he'd walked away from. "Casey!" He manages to choke out his stepsister's name. He gets a glimpse of her blue sweater and hurries toward her, trying not to trip over anything, or anyone.

He kneels beside the brunette, taking in the damage done to her body. Her face is cut and her hair's already stained with blood. Her left arm is covered with lacerations and a piece of marble from the fountain has landed on her right ankle, twisting it unnaturally.

"Casey. Casey. Casey!" He's repeating her name, frantically, and takes her right hand. He holds it tight and checks for a pulse. "Good." The weak but steady pulse beneath his fingers assures him, she's still here with him. The girl next to her doesn't seem so lucky. Derek closes the blonde's eyelids, not wanting her staring at them.

"Casey," he whispers. "Come on, princess, wake up."

Her eyelashes flutter and she groans. He tries to dial emergency services but his call won't go through.

"Where are the paramedics?" he shouts to the dean as he walks the perimeter of the Quad in shock. Derek's demanding question drags the older man from his stupor.

"Ten minutes."

"That's not good enough!" Derek snaps.

He looks down to Casey and pushes her hair back, not surprised to find his hand sticky with blood as he pulls away.

"Derek," she murmurs.

"Yes. Oh, Case. Hold on, honey. Hold on."

"Hurts," she whimpers. "Everywhere."

"I know," he replies softly, voice catching in his throat. "Shh. Hold on."

"So tired. Can't. Too tired."

"No," he grips her arm, trying not to hurt her. "No. Casey, baby. Casey, stay with me. Casey."

There's so much blood. Too much.

A paramedic tries to peel him away.

"Your girlfriend needs to go to the hospital. You can't come with her."

"No!" Derek's eyes are wild. "I'm her next of kin. Her... brother."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

_You look so scared, but you can't tell us why. Nora's eyes are tired and tinged with red. Your little sister won't come to see you; she can't see you. Not like this. Edwin only stops when she's working. Dad and Marti are trying to hold down the fort, for Simon. He misses his mommy, and spends nearly an hour telling Nora everything he did during the day. He asks about you every day. We don't have an answer for him. _

The emergency room at Kingston General Hospital was pure chaos. Nurses are scurrying everywhere and every doctor, along with some of the grad students, is on duty.

Their voices fill the room.

"Code blue, I need a crash cart."

"I need an operating room. Stat."

"Get an IV started."

"I'm sorry."

Their voices meld into one as Derek clutches Casey's hand.

A tall Latino crouches in front of him in scrubs. He snaps his fingers to get Derek's attention.

"Name."

"Casey MacDonald."

"Hers?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"The freakin' fountain blew up!" Derek yells. Everyone looks to him in surprise, a hush falling over the room.

The man sighs. "Your girlfriend?"

"Stepsister. I'm her next of kin. The rest of the family's in London, Ontario."

"She needs to be cleaned up. Upstairs, room...227. Five minutes." The doctor snaps his fingers and a nurse rolls Casey's stretcher away.

Derek makes his way to the front desk. "Can I use the landline?" he nods at the large black phone.

The receptionist smiles pityingly. "I'm sorry, but it's for hospital use only."

Derek jams his hand into his hair, not caring that Casey's dried blood was still on it.

"There's a telephone in each room. Calls are expensive, but," she shrugs, leaving him to finish the sentence for himself.

"Thanks. My cellphone's useless."

"Too many people trying to make calls."

He lifts one shoulder in a shrug before heading for the stairs.

Standing in front of the door, he reads the plaque. 227. He knocks softly.

"Come in!" a cheery voice calls. He enters and the hopeful smile drops from his face.

The nurse smiles and pushes an unconscious Casey's hair back. "It's nice that you're here for your sister."

Derek nods without arguing. "When will the doctor be back?"

"Ten minutes. He's trying to get the head surgeon to come see her."

"Surgeon?"

"She needs to have an MRI to be sure, but they suspect there's shrapnel lodged beneath her skin."

Derek nods slowly, sinking to the chair beside the bed. He reaches for the phone, dialing an area code followed by his home phone number.

The operator prompts him to record a message, asking the recipient to pay for the call.

Edwin Venturi picks up the phone at their London Ontario home. "Hello."

"You've received a long distance call from: Derek-it's important!" his voice adds before the recording continues. "Will you accept the charges? Press one for yes."

"Dad!" Edwin yells, pressing one.

George picks up the phone and Derek's never been so glad to hear his father's voice.

"Dad, it's Derek."

"You'd better pay me back, Derek. A long distance call from Kingston. That costs—"

"DAD!" Derek snaps. "There... there was an explosion on campus. Casey," he clears his throat. "Casey's at Kingston General Hospital. You... you and Nora need to hurry."

George doesn't reply and nearly drops the phone in shock.

"Dad?" he questions, wondering if his father was still there.

"O-okay. We'll leave right away. Lizzie can pick up Marti from school and Simon from daycare."

"Dad, don't bring the kids. You don't have to. Not yet." _She's not dying. Yet. _"She's still breathing on her own, but she's... she's in pretty bad shape, Dad. Marti and Simon aren't old enough to see her like this. Ask Mrs. Higginbotham to watch them."

"She moved away two years ago, Derek. And the Davis family has Emily for the weekend, so they went out for dinner."

The 22 year old sighs at the mention of his ex-girlfriend, and Casey's best friend. "I'll call Em. She owes me one. Just drop the kids there in ten minutes."

"Derek? Are...you okay?"

"I'm fine. I was far enough away when it happened."

"I meant, about Casey."

Derek's voice becomes scratchy. "If she's okay, I'll be okay."

George murmurs his agreement. "We'll drive through the night."

"Okay. Tell Nora she can call, but I dunno if it'll come through. The airways are useless. Everyone's trying to make calls, and nobody's getting through."

"Alright, Derek. Stay with her."

"Yeah. Bye, Dad."

He hangs up and dials Emily Davis' cell phone number.

"Well, if it's not _the_ Derek Venturi calling little ol' me," Emily drawls sarcastically.

"Em, I don't have time for this."

"You've never had time for me, Derek."

"Casey's been in an accident. I need you to watch Simon and Marti."

Emily stops short. "What happened?"

"An explosion on campus. Dunno how much Dad told the kids, so don't tell them anything. I'll… I'll call Marti tonight."

"I…Derek, you just can't demand this of me!"

"You owe me. I never told Casey that you and Truma—"

"Shh!" Emily snaps. "Fine. Besides, it was a lapse in judgment."

"Seems like he causes girls to have those a lot."

The African-Canadian snorts humorlessly. "Fine, Derek."

"Casey'll say thanks. I hope."

"That bad?"

"Yeah." The Latino enters the hospital room, followed by an older man in scrubs. "Listen, Em. I gotta go. Thanks. Lizzie should be there with the kids soon. Mmmhmm. Thanks."

The older man smiles in greeting before going to Casey's side. The Latino nods curtly and leaves without a word.

"Don't mind him. He's new, from the States. We're taking her down to MRI. You're her next-of-kin?"

Derek nods. "Do you need me to sign something?"

"Eventually, yes. Not now," the older doctor smiles reassuringly. "We'll take good care of her."

The college student nods and brushes Casey's cheek lightly. "Stay with me, princess."

"I'm Doctor Elliot. You're welcome to stay here, or the cafeteria's down on the first floor."

"Thanks."

A nurse comes and rolls Casey away. Derek turns on the TV in the corner, looking for any news. He watches as the broadcaster cautions parents of the graphic nature of the shot before the screen switches to what was left of the Quad. There were blood patches on the grass and the sidewalk was littered with body parts and pieces of the fountain. Derek feels sick to his stomach as the reporter's calm voice estimates the casualties to be near fifty with at least that many more injured.

Using his cell phone, he hacks Casey's facebook and posts that she was in the hospital because of the explosion at Queens. Almost immediately, a few friends from high school commented on the post, but Derek sets the cell phone aside, not wanting to explain who he was and why he was there with her. The cell vibrates on the bedside table and the display flashes 'Sam' up at him.

"Hello?"

"Derek, thank god. I've been trying to get a hold of you for nearly an hour and a half. As soon as I heard about the explosion… Geezus, D… you okay?"

"I'm fine, man," Derek chuckles. "Take a breath, Sam. I'm not dead."

"Dude, that's not even funny. Not at all. When you didn't answer and I couldn't get through, I was going to start calling all the hospitals in Kingston."

"You would've found me."

The blond hockey player sighs. "Derek."

"Not me. Casey."

"What?"

"She was really close to the fountain, when it happened. There… was so much blood. Casey's blood. Oh, god." Derek pukes into the waste basket.

Sam stifles a laugh. "D?"

"I'm still here." He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry."

"Is she okay?"

"They're doing an MRI now. She passed out about ten minutes after the explosion."

"What happened? The news is useless."

"I dunno. One minute I was yelling at her in front of the fountain, and the next, it exploded and threw me down in the grass."

"I thought you and Casey were friends now."

"I'd just told her I love her."

Derek hears a crash and Sam scrambling to pick up his phone. "What?!"

"I love Casey."

Sam pumps his fist, getting a weird look from his roommate. He rolls his eyes. "How… how can you be—"

"Sure? Sam, I'm sure. I love the way she laughs. I love the way she moves. I love her."

"I was gonna say calm, but that works too."

The brunette chuckles humorlessly. "She freaked out and started bringing up our parents and Simon, refusing to listen to anything I said."

"And?"

"I called her a coward and left her alone in front of the freaking fountain on the Quad. Then, ka-bluwey!"

"It's not your fault, D. Don't even think that for a second."

"If I hadn't—"

"Derek Michael Venturi!" his childhood friend snaps.

"Sorry."

"Me too. Is the fam coming?"

"Yeah. Not Marti or Simon though. Emily's going to baby-sit."

"Casey's gonna pull through."

"Yeah, if only to reject me all over again."

"Derek."

"No, I'm fine. I'll get over it. Always do."

"Alright, I won't argue with you."

"Thanks, man. I needed somebody to talk to."

"No problem. Hang tight, Derek. Casey's strong; she'll be fine."

"Yeah," Derek agrees as his friend hangs up. "…I hope so."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_You stare at the plants, gifts, and balloons adorning the room, but you don't see them. All you see is the vase of daisies on the windowsill. You know they mean something; you just don't remember what, but I do. I'm just not going to tell you. If I do, they'll lose their meaning._

Derek could hear the stampede the moment his family got out of the elevator.

George Venturi knocks on the door of room 227 a single time before his wife flings it open.

Derek smiles softly at his stepmother. "She's stable, Nora. I haven't left this room since she got here. The doc should be back in about forty minutes. They just did an MRI about two hours ago."

Nora nods and puts an arm around Lizzie, who was staring at her sister's sleeping form on the bed, blood tinting the bandages on her forehead and arms.

Lizzie flashes a glance at Edwin, who was turning green at the sight. In a synchronized movement that could've been a part of Casey's favorite ballet, the two teens lunge for the bathroom, emptying their stomachs in turn.

A hit of a smirk appears on Derek's face, but Nora doesn't miss the way he looks haunted as his eyes examine his stepsister.

George settles into a chair in the corner as a monitor steadily beeps out his step-daughter's heartbeat.

"So," Derek's voice cracks at the attempt to sound light and cheerful. "I'm gonna go back to campus."

"Derek."

"Dad. I want answers. I need answers."

"I understand that, but—"

"Dad. I can't be here any more. Two times, I fell asleep and woke up, sweating like crazy, scared that she'd—"

The bathroom door creaks open and Derek snaps his mouth shut.

Lizzie grits her teeth as she looks at Casey and promptly exits the room.

Edwin stares after her, looking between the door and the bed on which his oldest stepsister sleeps.

"I'll go," Derek stands, pulling his chair out for Nora.

"Hey."

"Figured you'd find me," Lizzie mutters, fingers threading through the grass on which she was sitting.

Derek sits beside her. "She'd want you there."

"She'd want you there too. Ed and I heard you announce that you were going to leave."

"Lizard. This is my fault; if I hadn't said I lo—"

"You can say the word, Derek. I'm old enough, you don't even have to; I can tell."

He rips up a clump of grass and smiles sheepishly as his little stepsister glowers at him. "Sorry."

"S'okay. Mother Nature may forgive you."

He chuckles. "I told her, and she called me a freak. I think I cussed a few times, before telling her was a coward. I… I left her in the center of the Quad and then…"

"It happened?"

"Yeah. In a split second, everything was pandemonium."

"What… Did they find anything on the MRI?"

"They think she may need surgery. That's why they did the MRI. They couldn't tell me much else, and that was an hour before you guys got here. The doc thinks shrapnel lodged itself beneath her skin and may have caused brain trauma."

"Brain surgery?"

"Yeah."

Lizzie chokes off a sob. "Sorry. I… I know you don't do… tears."

"Oh, Liz," he says, gathering the tomboy into his arms. "Shhh, shh. Your sister's strong and a pain in the neck. She'll make it. Shh."

Five or six minutes later, she pulls away and wipes the tears from her cheeks.

"Better?"

"I… I still can't be there for her. I'm not that strong, Derek."

"I understand. Why do you think I'm leaving?"

Lizzie giggles softly. "Thanks, bro."

"No problem. Go upstairs."

"You are leaving, aren't you? Right now?"

He ruffles her purple and blond hair gently. "Tell your mom, okay? I… I'll call Marti."

The teen nods. "Goodbye, Derek."

"G'bye, Lizard."

He stands and brushes off his jeans and strides into the parking lot.

Lizzie signs and stands up, heading back to room 227.

…

"Hi, Mom."

"Derek? What are you doing here?" Abby asks. "I… I only told George I moved to L.A. last week."

"I made some calls. Can I come in?"

The older woman sighs. "Yes, dear."

His mother buzzes him in and Derek walks to the penthouse apartment so much grander than the one he lived in with Casey.

"Derek, I want you to meet someone."

"Oh?"

He walks up the stairs and she opens the door wider.

"Hi, Derek."

"Dennis?"

Abby pushes a strand of red hair behind her ear.

Her son looks between the two, picking out the hint of blush coloring his mother's cheek and the peculiar way Dennis kept staring at him, as if wanting to flee the apartment.

Stealing a glance at Casey's father, he sees a flash of Casey in the grass, covered in her own blood, and he's mad, furious, in an instant.

"How could you?" He curses at her.

"Derek!"

Derek glowers at Dennis for the outburst and switches to Spanish.

"¿Sabes que su hija está en el hospital? ¡El hospital! ¡Hubo una explosión! Ella podría morirse si yo no estuviera allí para ella. Y vosotros estáis aquí."

"Derek," Abby snaps.

"Mom, it's Casey."

Dennis looks up sharply. "What?"

"Casey could be on her deathbed," Derek turns on him, "and you're here fraternizing with my mother."

Derek stands and exits his mother's apartment, slamming the door behind him. He drives off, not caring where he was going. Sitting in the Prince half an hour away from L.A., he stubbornly ignores the tears prickling the corners of his eyes.

His cell rings, Lizzie's name in the display.

"Hey, Lizard."

"Derek, what were you thinking? Los Angeles?"

"Mom called Dad, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. Also, Marti is beyond mad at you. She said you're not being Smerek, cuz Smerek is always with Smasey and always keeps his smromises. I think that was it. It was hard to make it out from between the tears."

The college student groans. "I forgot to call from the road. Crap."

"George wants to talk to you."

"That makes one of us."

"I'm giving him the phone."

"No! No. I'll, uh, I'll talk to Nora."

"Okay," Lizzie hesitates, handing her mother the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Nora. Wait, don't give Dad the phone. I know he wants to talk to me, but… Nora, I want… no, I need to talk to you instead."

He hears her murmured 'excuse me,' as she exits the hospital room.

"Derek," she begins, a no-nonsense tone in her voice. "What is this about?"

"It's about Casey. What else?"

There must have been a hint of his feelings in his voice because his step-mom clicks her tongue pityingly. "Oh, Derek."

"That's not all. I'm in California."

"Yes, Abby called, said you were upset."

"You would be too, if you came in on her screwing your ex-husband."

Nora's polite cough soon gives way to laughter. "I… I'm sorry, Derek. It's not funny, at all. I just…"

He quirks a grin. "It's fine, Nora. I know you could use a laugh after a weekend like this."

"I… I guess I'm not surprised. They seemed to get on quite well at your graduation party, though I seem to remember that Abby had brought along some tequila. Dennis was always a sucker for a woman who could hold her liquor."

Derek tries not to snort, as his stepmother continues.

"And, I remember once—I must have been twenty-three—right after our…fifth date, I think, that he took me to meet his mother. Oh my goodness, hun. She was something else. Held onto that bottle of liquor like it was her baby. I'll never forget the way her bloodshot eyes studied me. I felt like a lab rat, but Dennis assured me that it was perfectly normal. Should've turned tail and ran then. Never would have made that mistake."

"Nora, you never would have had Casey or Lizzie either."

"Still, if I'd been smart, I would have finished school before marrying him. Didn't have much of a choice, though; I was pregnant."

"With…Casey?" He attempts to do the math in his head, but keeps coming up short.

"No. I lost the baby. I was too young, always out drinking with Dennis. I thought…" She pauses, as if remembering who she was talking to at the moment. "Are you sure you want to know this?"

"Honestly, Nora? This is the only thing that's keeping me from falling asleep and driving off the road."

She sighs disapprovingly, but goes on with her story, "I thought I was invincible. I wouldn't get pregnant; we were safe. Turns out we conceived the very first time he brought to his dorm. By the time I knew, Dennis had already introduced me to his mother and his friends as 'the one.'" Nora rubs her temples and leans back against the uncomfortable bench in the deserted waiting area. "I kept it a secret for nearly another three months. The man always was blind when it came to women," she chuckles humorlessly. "Four months after our first date, I told him, and Dennis proposed. I said yes, and we got married the next weekend. Me in my high school prom dress, and him in a sports-coat and tie, in front of some judge in Toronto… that was my wedding. That's why Mom refused to speak to me until Casey was born; I never invited her to it. Fast forward. It's a month before Dennis' graduation. I'm due in four or five weeks, and I have a doctor's appointment. And, they tell me, no, sorry. That I'd give birth to a dead child in a month. Stillborn. No baby. I couldn't even see straight, as I walked back to Dennis' dorm room. He was so upset. I'd ruined his life, you see, he told me. And, for no good reason. There was no kid. His mother was right, he shouted at me that night. I wasn't worth it. I was just trying to get my hooks into him."

Derek doesn't know what to say, so he merely stays on the line.

"Derek?"

"Yeah, Nora?"

"I'm worth it, aren't I?"

He hits the brakes. "Nora, you are the best thing that ever happened to my dad, do you understand me? You bring light and happiness into his life. Into mine, Ed's, and Marti's too. At your wedding, I couldn't remember seeing Dad that happy since Marti was born. And with Simon, he's like a new guy. I remember how he was, with me and Ed, before he and Mom started having problems. Marti was an accident, a last minute reason that Mom could tack on to her list of things to blame on Dad. The last straw was her trying to convince Dad that she should have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. He told her that he'd let her stay until Marti was born, and then she'd have to decide where to go because, if she still felt that way about their child, she wasn't welcome in our home. You gave Marti a mom. You gave my dad another chance at love. You guys, as sappy as you two are, deserve each other's love. You are so worth it, Nora. I know Ed and I probably don't say it enough, but we love you like you were our own mom."

He hears a watery chuckle through the phone. "I don't know about being your mother, Derek, but I… I am proud to be your step-mother."

He laughs. "Me too, Nora."

"Derek, you should come back."

"I-"

"Derek, our family needs you. Your sister needs you."

"Oh for crying out loud, Nora. She is not my sister. She was never my sister... If she was... well, Dad would be trying to put me in jail."

"What? ...Oh. Oh, Derek."

He chuckles dryly. "Yeah."

"I... I..."

"Nora, you don't have to accept it, or even understand it. I just figured someone should know." He clears his throat. "Nora," he asks, pulling out onto the highway again. "How is she?"

"Still out. They've given her a sedative so she wouldn't wake up. The MRI showed that there are lacerations on her frontal lobe and at least two pieces of shrapnel in her left hemisphere. They say that her surgery is scheduled for Monday."

"We have to wait another full day?"

"Yes. Something about a level of… something being out of balance."

"Did you tell them our Klutzilla's always out of balance?"

Nora laughs. "No, I didn't mention that, Derek."

"How's Lizzie?"

"Edwin's been with her. She just hums and holds Casey's hand. I don't know what you said, but at least she's not locking herself in the bathroom anymore."

"I have to go, Nora."

"What?"

"I'm still driving and I need to stop. I haven't slept since after the explosion."

"Derek, that was nearly 52 hours ago!"

"I napped in the Prince before crossing over into the States, so it's only been two days."

"Only. Hmmph, who are you and what have you done with my stepson?"

Derek laughs. "Sorry, Nora, but I'm a changed man. Go back in, Nora. Tell Dad I'll talk to him once I get there."

"Okay, dear. We'll keep you updated."

"Thanks," he replies, hanging up his phone.

…

"I want you to take the kids home."

"What? No!" Derek snaps at his father. I just got here. You wanted me to be here."

"Son, that's not why you came back. You came back because you wanted to be here. Punishment is taking away what you want. QED, you're driving the kids back to London.

Derek sighs and shoves a hand through his hair, making it stand up at odd angles. "What about school?"

"You can drive the kids there every day."

"My school, Dad!"

George sighs. "I called the Dean's office. It'll be another week before classes start up again. We'll... reevaluate then."

"Fine. I'll be in the car."

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to your sister?" Nora asks.

A shadow of his smirk crosses Derek's face. "Marti's coming with me, isn't she?"

"Derek."

"Dad, she's a vegetable. Casey will never remember me not saying goodbye."

"You will, if she..."

"Dad! I... I know. But I can't."

George sighs and claps on a hand on Derek's shoulder. "Okay. I'll get the kids. Emily brought Simon and Marti earlier this week."

Derek nods, his throat tight. "Thanks, Dad."

"Smerek!" Marti shouts, running to him.

"Hey, Smarts."

Lizzie smiles softly as Derek winks at her and tackles Edwin from the side in the car.

"Hey, Ed. How's it going?"

"It's goin'."

Derek smiles. "That's something at least."

"Derek."

He turns to Nora, who seems ashamed to look him in the eye. He steps forward and kisses her forehead gently. "How are you holding up?"

She sends him a wobbly smile. "I think... we'll make it. How... how about you?"

Derek reaches for Simon, taking him from her arms. "I'll survive."

"I think she would want you to live, Derek, not just survive."

"As long as she does the same, Nora."

"Keep the faith. Your sister will pull through."

"Step-sister."

She sighs, frustrated with him. She turns to kiss the toddler in his arms. "Buh-bye, Simon. Mommy's going to stay with Casey and Daddy."

"Wanna stay with you."

"Hey, bud!" Derek hefts him higher up on his hip. "You get to spend some time with me!"

"But..."

"No buts. We'll even play your CD in the car first."

Edwin groans and Lizzie merely chuckles.

"I call the front seat!" Marti yells.

"Why does she always get the front seat?"

"It's a rule," Marti answers Edwin with a grin.

"It shouldn't be," Edwin grumbles as they pile into the car.

Derek can't help but look back in the mirror as he pulls away from Kingston General Hospital. George had gone back inside, but Nora stared after them, arms crossed, and Derek knows that she had wanted this punishment for him, just as much as George had. And he was afraid he knew why.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_You spoke again today. My name. And then promptly asked where you mother was. This wasn't the progress I was hoping for, Case._

It's been two years, but here he is. Still at home, still waiting. Still hoping. Derek sighs, going over his homework for his professor. He'd taken online classes through Queens and was almost finished with the pre-med program. His advisor wants to meet with him and discuss specialization, Derek realizes, reading his latest email. If he wanted to become a surgeon, it would take a few more years. The young man shakes his head, knowing it would take more time if he has to stay home and take care of the kids, especially Simon, who only started preschool this fall. Two years and he'd gotten through three semesters of school work. At this point, he may get certified before he turns thirty...

"Smerek!" Marti yells and hangs up the phone in the kitchen.

"What?!" he asks, looking up from his computer. "What's wrong? Is Casey—"

"Lizzie, Ed!" the high school sophomore shouts before grabbing Simon off the couch. "Hey buddy. Did you have a good day at preschool? Momma says she misses you." She puts him in his high chair by the kitchen table that was littered with Derek's books and papers. "Liz! Ed!" she holders from the foot of the stairs. "Get down here, right now!"

Two doors open and shut. Marti hears a few murmured words before the two college students come down the stairs.

"What, Marti?" her brother asks.

She grabs their hands and drags them into the dining room. "I have an announcement."

Lizzie sighs, pushing her black-streaked hair back. "Marti, I have homework. Can't this wait 'til dinner?"

"No. Mom called."

"Abby?" Derek asks, surprised.

"No. Nora. My real mom. Abby is my mother, Derek. It's not the same difference."

Ed fidgets, turning the volume on his cell phone on and off, on and off. Lizzie sighs dramatically and Derek turns his eyes back to the laptop.

"Gawd, what's _wrong_ with you?!" Marti snaps. "What happened to our family?"

Lizzie looks up sharply. "Martina Venturi. You know very well what happened. Our sister had a fountain blow up. In. Her. Face. She's nearly brain-dead. Your brother," she gestures to Derek, "blames himself. Mom quit to live in her hospital room. George works as many cases as he possibly can from Kingston to get us enough money for food, and we _still_ have to use food stamps. We're all raising our baby brother who barely knows his parents, all because Casey is in the hospital."

"It's not her fault!" Derek yells crossly.

"No, it's not. Mom told me that the doctors wanted to take Casey off life support. But you won't let them."

Edwin looks up, dark eyes confused. "Why is it his decision?"

Lizzie's eyes stare her oldest stepbrother down angrily. "He's her next of kin."

Derek groans, closing her laptop. "What do you want to say, Lizzie? Just say it."

Her eyes drop to the table. "Nothing. I don't want to say anything."

"Don't do that to her," Ed mutters. "She's not just some girl you can just push around. She's your sister."

"Step-sister," Lizzie corrects under her breath before marching up the stairs.

"Don't parents still outrank siblings on the next-of-kin wheelhouse?" Edwin asks his brother.

"Yes. But Casey gave me Power of Attorney too. Since we were in Kingston."

"What was she thinking?"

"The same as I was when we both changed ours during junior year."

Edwin studies him curiously. "You were in a relationship?"

"Unofficially."

"How long?"

"New Years junior year, through the day of the attack on campus," Derek answers.

"Whoa."

"Yeah. When her classmate—the one who died in the hospital after no one could contact her parents—died, it shook her up. So we did this. Good thing too. Nora would have had her off life support a year ago."

"A year?"

Derek nods silently.

"You may have to let her go someday, bro. Nora and George can't keep living like this. Neither can you."

"The doctors haven't been hopeful, but there's a new type of brain surgery being developed. I've researched it for my thesis. It could help her. It's only being tested in the States, but if Casey holds on for another month, she'd be a perfect candidate for the trial here. If the shrapnel could be removed with minimal scarring, there's a chance she could make a full recovery."

"But, Derek, how big of a chance?"

"Ten percent."

"Ten percent?" Marti interrupts from where she'd been playing patty-cake with Simon. "You're keeping her alive for _ten percent?! _Der-ek!"

He flinches at the inflection in her voice before turning cold eyes on her. "Yes. She deserves a chance."

"Maybe she deserves to go quietly. You know Casey. She hated surprises and big crowds. Maybe she's meant to just… slip away," Edwin puts forward.

"Or maybe not," Marti answers. "Derek, I don't know much, but Nora said that Casey's starting to respond to some of the drugs or something. She's doing better. They're going to wean her off some of the pain meds, hopefully."

The phone rings. "That'll probably be Doctor Elliot," Derek says softly. "I'll ask about the treatment. Maybe they'll air-evac her to New York. Or maybe some of the shrapnel shifted."

He kisses his little sister's cheek optimistically. "This is good. This is really, really good, Smarts."

She grins. "I know. I have homework. Dimi's gonna help me with physics. I'll be back for dinner."

"Physics only, Smarti. No biology. And definitely no anatomy!"

Marti giggles. "Okay, Daddy Derek."

He growls at her as he picks up the phone. "Venturi residence."

She smirks at him and follows her other brother up the stairs as the familiar voice of Dr. Elliot assures Derek that Casey was fine before proceeding to fill him in on her progress.

...

9 weeks later

...

It's funny actually. Her homecoming is the best birthday present he could have ever asked for, but it was quite bittersweet because the timid girl who came in with their parents wasn't Casey MacDonald. At least, she wasn't the one he knew. But she was home. The shrapnel had shifted and she started responding to the newest batch of drugs. So they brought her home.

Her eyes are glazed. She doesn't look at him. Ever. Casey focuses on Nora and solely Nora. Her fingers latch onto her mother's as Nora leads her to the couch. Simon tiptoes up to her and then jumps on the sofa. He hugs her tightly. "Smasey!"

His half-sister is frozen. The little boy goes to pull away until her arms encircle him in a hug. A warm smile touches her face as the toddler settles in her lap.

Nora grins at George and leans into him. "We're home."

Simon babbles away at Casey, uncaring that he never got as much as a nod, let alone a reply. Lizzie sinks to her knees beside the couch. "Casey. Casey?" She touches her sister's hand.

Casey starts and buries her face in Simon's downy blond hair. Lizzie shoots to her feet and sprints up the stairs. Edwin sighs. "I'll go, D. You stay here. Casey," he calls, waiting until she looks up. He smiles softly. "I'm glad you're back, sis."

Her eyes drift away from his face as he turns to follow Lizzie upstairs.

"Simon, come with Mommy. It's dinner time."

The toddler nods, kissing Casey's cheek. "Bye bye, sissy." He slides off his lap and stops in front of Derek. "Smerek stays with Smasey, 'cause she's sick."

Derek nods as the toddler follows Nora to the kitchen. "Casey, baby," Derek whispers, "what happened to you?"

Her wandering eyes lock onto his in a burst of clarity. She _recognizes_ him.

The front door bangs open and she flinches, huddling into the couch.

"I ran the whole way from school," Marti heaves. "Casey! Squeal of delight!"

Casey clutches Derek's arm, cuddling into the arm of the sofa between her and his recliner before peeking out at Marti with one wary eye.

Marti stops, outstretched arms dropping to her side.

"Smarti," Derek says quietly before she starts crying like Lizzie. "You scared her. It's ok. Just sit down and watch TV with her for a while."

The teen nods and settles on the couch. She turns on the television, finding a rerun of _The Brady Bunch_. The irony isn't lost on Derek, but since Casey begins to sit up and watch the show, he doesn't say a word. Marti laughs at one point and suddenly Casey's attention is fixed on the younger girl. Derek smiles as Casey tries to mimic the noise and facial expressions.

Marti giggles and turns to face her older step-sister. She sits there with a smile, letting Casey run her fingers over her face. Marti slides her fingers onto Casey's cheeks, helping her shape her lips into a smile.

"There!" the younger girl exclaims happily. "Perfect."

Casey turns to Derek, her lips tilted into a grin and a look of pure concentration in her eyes.

Derek returns the smile and snaps a picture of her with his phone.

"Derek, could you come in here?" George calls after dinner as the younger kids settle around Casey and the TV once more.

The young man drops a kiss on Casey's forehead. "Stay with Marti, okay, Spacey?"

Derek walks into the kitchen, sliding the door shut behind him. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk," Nora says, crossing her arms ominously.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_You still don't talk. Simon's been teaching you what he's learning in preschool. It's funny really, you'd think he was the older one. And honestly, it's not funny at all, when I see him reading _Cat in the Hat_ to you for the fortieth time, pointing out all the new words he's learned. It's not funny because I remember you reading the same story to him right after he was born, rocking him late one night after Nora went to bed. It's not funny because he remembers how you used to be, and he's trying to make you better. We're all trying to make you better._

Simon bursts into tears when Nora decides he needs to go to bed half an hour earlier than normal. Derek sets the toddler on his lap, rocking the recliner to calm his little half-brother.

Nora, a bit flustered, takes the boy to his room as George heads to the basement tiredly.

"I have homework, Smerek. Will you check my math over breakfast?"

"Sure, Smarts."

The teen smiles at Casey and gets off the couch. "Good night, Casey."

Derek flips through the channels on the TV, landing on a rerun of the Toronto Ballet's production of Swan Lake earlier in the year. He notices Casey's eyes light up before she glues her attention to the screen.

Nora comes down the stairs, stopping next to Derek's recliner. "Simon is in bed. Lizzie and Edwin have locked their doors, but I'm worried they're up to something in the games closet instead."

"Nora. They're just talking. Besides, Lizzie is dating someone from her Tae Kwan Do class and Ed is crushing on the head cheerleader."

His step-mother sighs. "Casey, time for bed."

"Nora, let her watch the show. She loves Swan Lake."

The woman pushes her silver-streaked hair back. "She isn't all there, Derek. They're just moving shapes and colors to her."

Derek grits his teeth. "She's never going to get better if you don't stop treating her like a child."

"Mentally, she _is _a child."

"For now…"

Nora groans. "Fine, Derek. Stay up with her and get her ready for bed. She can sleep in what she has on. Make sure she spits out the toothpaste when she does her teeth, and—"

"I can handle her, Nora. Go to bed."

She glowers at him and kisses Casey on the forehead. "Sleep good, sweetie."

About twenty minutes after Nora goes downstairs, Derek catches Casey's eyes on him before they flit back to the TV. He stands up and grabs the throw from the back of the sofa before sitting beside her.

Instantly, she's curling into his side like Simon did earlier. Derek smirks softly and puts the blanket over them, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

The credits scroll across the screen an hour later. Casey's sleepy eyes study him as Derek stands up, turns off the television, and folds the blanket.

He groans and picks her up, swinging his step-sister into his arms and carrying her up the stairs.

He sets her on the bed and pulls the covers up to her chin. "Don't tell your mom I didn't make you brush your teeth, okay, princess?"

She whimpers as he turns off the light and heads to his bedroom. "Shh. It's ok, Casey. Go to sleep. Bed time. Good night."

It's been two hours, and he can still hear her whimpering in the dark. Derek rolls out of his bed and goes to the room next to his. "Casey, Casey, baby."

Her watery eyes blink out at him from under the covers. "Casey." He sits at the foot of the bed.

She flies into his arms, clutching onto his t-shirt.

He strokes her hair until her weeping subsides. "You need to go to sleep, Case."

She wraps her fingers around the fabric of his shirt. Derek groans and pulls away. He turns her radio on at a low volume, smirking as she marvels at the music. He flicks on the light above her desk, letting the soft glow illuminate the room.

"Better? Sleep tight." He kisses her forehead and goes back to his bedroom, thinking about what Nora had said.

_.Flashback. _

"About?" Derek asks nonchalantly, heading for the fridge.

"You need to go back to Kingston. You should finish school."

"Nora, have you seen her?" Derek hisses. "I couldn't leave her now, even if I wanted to. I've got another semester and then I have a degree. But Casey needs me more than I need a bunch of letters behind my name!"

"Derek, you're going to be a great doctor, but you need to be at school for it!"

"I've already been hired to do my internship here, in London. I'll drive to Kingston once a month to report back to my prof. I have this planned out."

"Derek, what Nora is trying to say," George interrupts, "is that…you need a life. A life separate from…us."

"You're kicking me out?!"

"We aren't. We just… are going to help you find an apartment," Nora smiles.

"Oh, yeah, ok…"

"Casey needs a home with family to recuperate. Simon needs his own bedroom. We just don't have enough room, son."

"And I'm not her family, right, Dad? I've never been her family! And this is your way of making sure that history doesn't repeat itself."

"Yes, Derek," Nora answers, crossing her arms, "it is. You aren't allowed in this house."

"We never _did_ anything, Nora. Your precious baby is still… _pure_. She didn't even say she loved me. Because she knew that you'd force her to choose. And Casey and I both knew what she would choose. She'd choose her family every time. Every single time. But, me? I'm done playing this game. Casey is an adult. I'm an adult. And I'm her next-of-kin."

"I am her mother!" Nora snaps.

"You can't legally change her next-of-kin. She is an adult and she was an adult when she appointed me her next of kin; signed, sealed, and delivered by yours truly," Derek nods towards his father. "Right, Dad?"

"He's right, Nora. We'll have a legal battle on our hands."

"You're his lawyer, George. You're her lawyer. And you're _our_ lawyer."

"Actually, I've been thinking about hiring a new lawyer. So thanks, Dad, but no thanks."

"You cannot do this, Derek."

His eyes flash. "Yes, Nora. I can. I'm quite competent. I have taken care of Edwin, Lizzie, Smarti, and Simon for almost _two years_. I can tell you the names of their gym teachers, what their favorite foods are, and not only the dates, but the times each of them were born. From what I remember, you guys couldn't do that, even before."

"We're still her legal guardians."

"She isn't a minor. And I'm next-of-kin. After me, Dennis is listed. And then Lizzie. Then, there's you two. Casey put me first. In one aspect of our lives, Casey put _me_ first. In everything else, it was you, Nora. And family. But, I'm not her family. I'm still not. So kick me out. I'll head to New York. I hear I may be getting a step-father soon. What a tangled web the MacDonald-Venturi's weave."

"Abby's getting married?!"

"It seems that way, Georgie," Nora replies angrily. "To Dennis, if I'm not mistaken."

"He's a very successful lawyer. Gained some fame in L.A. with the big celebrity cases… and we all know, Nora, that if he'd thought Casey and Lizzie would have been better off with him, he'd have won a custody battle."

Nora pales.

"Derek Michael Venturi," George yells.

"All I want is what is best for Casey. And for the kids. I don't want to take her away from them. But she needs a quieter place. You saw her in there."

"She needs to be with her mother."

"She's not a baby, Nora. Casey is still in there. I know it. I have hope. Let me take care of her. Help me find a place big enough for both me and her. You and the kids can come visit whenever you like. But she needs a sanctuary. A quiet place where she can regain her _Casey-ness._ Don't make me fight you. I will fight. And I _will_ win. I'm a doctor. Dad, Nora, I can take care of her. I always have. So let me."

Nora shakes her head. "I can't, Derek."

"Then, I'll see you in court."

George groans and runs a hand through his long hair. "He's right, Nora. All of Casey's release papers had to be faxed here so Derek could sign. He is her next-of-kin. He has all legal rights to move her away, or to take us to court for making her stay here. And there is no way we can fight it."

"He's a womanizing _cad!"_ Nora screeches. "He is an incestuous leper trying to steal Casey away from us and make her fall for him all over again in a way that she'll never be my Casey again. She will never be our Casey again, George. If you let him do this, my daughter is dead to me."

"Nora, dear," George Venturi chuckles nervously, "don't you think you're over-reacting?"

"I am _not_ over-reacting."

Derek rolls his eyes, seeing that Casey got her drama-queen attitude from her mother. "We'll leave tomorrow."

"We'll disown you, Derek," Nora hisses venomously. "You and her. We'll take out a restraining order. You'll never see Lizzie or Edwin or Simon or your _Smarti_ again."

"Lizzie and Edwin are over eighteen. They're adults, who shouldn't be attending college from home. They've both applied for Queens and gotten in. They'll transfer next fall and finish their last two years there. Marti is a sophomore. My Smarti is almost all grown-up. She'll understand. And she'll turn eighteen soon anyways. As for Simon, I love him like he was my full brother. I always will. But I've missed so much of his life already that he won't miss me. He'll probably be better off without me, right, Nora?"

She huffs indignantly.

"Don't tell the kids. I'll talk to them myself. And don't make this about you, Nora. This isn't some revenge thing because you're not my mother. This is because you're hurting Casey. You just can't see it." Derek sighs. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll send a truck for our things once I find an apartment."

The older Venturi sighs. "Okay, Derek."

Nora glares at them both and goes downstairs, slamming the door behind her.

George rubs his forehead. "Derek…"

"Dad. You know I'm right. This isn't what Casey needs."

"I know, son. She needs you; she's always needed you. Nora is just being protective. Seeing Casey like that…. It's hard. It's so hard on her. I wish you'd cut her some slack."

"Dad, she just threatened to disown me just because I'm in love with her daughter and I'm trying to do what's best for Casey."

"She's a mother, Derek. She doesn't see it that way."

"I never want to get married."

George smirks, opening the door to the living room where Simon was bouncing on Casey's lap, giggling away. He catches Derek's soft smile. "Really?"

His son turns red. "Someday, maybe."

George gives his son a hug. "I'm sorry, Derek. I just can't get in the middle of this any more than I already am."

"I know. Thank you, though, for not taking her side. We'll leave after breakfast."

"Where will you go?"

"Sam's living at his parents' place now. They're down in the States for a vacation but he'll let us crash there until I can find a place for me and Space-Case."

"I'll tell the kids where you are. Maybe it's time Marti learns the tricks of the Venturi trade."

"You're gonna teach her how to sneak out?" Derek asks with a smile. "Make sure you let me know. She may try going to Davis' instead."

"What?"

He chuckles. "Old news, Dad. Smarts and Dimi? That's been happening since first grade."

George laughs. "Go tell your brother and Lizzie. They'll want to know."

"They probably already have it cataloged in their binder. Thanks, Dad."

Derek heads upstairs, not bothering to knock on Edwin or Lizzie's bedroom doors. He heads straight for the games closet. "Guys, open up."

"She doesn't want to talk about, D," Edwin warns.

"Edwin Daniel Venturi. Open this door right now or I will break it down."

"Open it, Ed," Lizzie mutters, wiping the streaks of mascara from under her eyes.

"I need to tell you both something, and I'm not crowding into that closet with the two of you," Derek says once the two teens open the door. "Come on. Let's talk in Ed's room."

They go up to the attic, and sit on the green-colored shag carpet. "You guys can't tell Marti this, or Simon. And especially not Casey."

Lizzie nods. "Alright," Edwin answers. "Get on with it, Derek."

"I'm moving out."

"What?" Lizzie cries.

"Shh, Liz. I have to. Your mom just kicked me out."

"Nora just kicked you out? What the heck?" Edwin shouts.

"GUYS! Keep it down!" the older boy hisses. "They wanted me to move out so Casey and I don't start… whatever it was we had."

"They don't want her to fall in love with you again," Lizzie realizes.

"So, naturally, you told them to go to—"

"Ed-win. These are our parents. Of course he—oh, god. Derek, tell me you didn't!"

"Lizzie, of course I didn't swear at them. But I did something else that wasn't so smart."

"You told them you'd move out? Bro, Casey needs you."

"I know that, Ed. Which is why I'm taking Casey with me."

Lizzie studies him. "You're moving out _with _Casey?"

Derek nods. "I'm sorry, Lizzie. I know she's your sister and you love her. And I know your mom does too. But you saw how overwhelmed she got. She needs someplace quiet without everyone. I'm gonna be a doctor. I know how to take care of her. I'm the best one _to_ take care of her."

His stepsister nods. "I know." She looks at the ground. "Can we— I want… I need to talk to you later. Alone."

Edwin shoots her a confused look. "Derek. Take care of Casey."

"Always will." He hugs his little brother. "Be good. Don't give up on Queens, no matter what Nora says, okay? You'll do good."

Derek follows Lizzie down the stairs, not surprised when she pulls him into the games closet.

She hugs him fiercely. "I want to go with you," she whispers into his neck.

"No, Lizard. You can't. I won't take two daughters away from your mom."

"She's not my mother. She's nothing but a selfish cougar. The last time I went to see Casey in the hospital, I saw her hitting on some nurse. He could've been your age, Derek. It was disgusting. And George was in the next room. And she's standing in the way of love." She looks to the floor. "In more ways than one."

"Elizabeth MacDonald."

"Venturi."

"Huh?"

"Elizabeth Jordan MacDonald-Venturi. At least let me be a Venturi in one way, Derek."

He sighs. "Lizzie."

"No. I understand. It's just hard, Derek. It's really, _really_ hard. I… I applied for a semester at Greenpeace before I go to Queens. I'll meet Ed there in the spring."

"Liz."

"Derek. I may be older, and I may be wiser. I don't feel like it. I feel like the little sister still. Especially now that Casey's back. I love my sister; I love my family. I even love my mother, even though she's being particularly rotten at the moment. But I need to do something for me. I need to meet someone who doesn't resemble my stepbrother."

Derek sighs, hugging her lightly. "It kills me that this is how I make you feel."

"It's not your fault. You love someone else. And you love me too, just not the way I want," Lizzie answers, pulling away. "Goodbye, Derek. I don't think I'll get up to see you off in the morning. Edwin will fill me in on any drama."

"Be careful, Liz."

"Huh?"

"Nora's suspicious of you and Ed in the games closet."

"You've got to be joking," the teen comments sulkily.

"'Fraid not, Lizard. I told her you were dating some kid in Tae Kwan Do. So, you may have to break up soon…"

"Derek!" she shrieks with a laugh. "All the kids in my Tae Kwan Do are _girls_."

"Whoops?"

She punches his arm. "You knew that. Now Mom really is going to be on my case."

He chuckles. "You'll be ok, Liz. You'll be good. And happy. You deserve it."

"So do you. And so does Casey. Watch over her, D."

"I will. Take care of Smarti and Simon for me."

"Always."

"And Ed," Derek adds.

"What?"

"Don't break his heart, Lizzie. Let him down gently. Or," he chucks her under the chin, "give him a chance. Maybe you will become a Venturi."

She giggles. "Me and Ed? No way!"

Her older step-brother smiles. "Never say no way. You dunno what will happen. Good luck with Greenpeace. You and Edwin and Simon and Smarti are always welcome at our apartment."

Lizzie nods and kisses him softly. She pulls back. "Sorry. But it's goodbye."

"Not just to me, but to a dream?"

"Yeah. But I'm growing up. It's time to let it go."

"Goodbye, Liz. You're growing up beautiful." He pushes her hair back from her face.

"Goodbye, Derek."

He leaves the games closet, not surprised to find that Casey was still in front of the television.

He hears Edwin clomp down the steps from the attic and stop on the creaky floorboard outside Lizzie's door. His quiet knock goes unnoticed by their parents, but Derek hides a smile as he hears Lizzie open the door. "We need to talk," she whispers.

He looks around at the house he'd grown up in and where he recently came back to live. Derek smiles as his family settles into their nightly routines while George and Nora retreat to the basement once more to argue. He looks to Casey and vows to make her better. But he can't do that here.

_Goodbye house,_ he thinks silently. _Hello, adult life._

With, he remembers, looking as Casey shies away from the TV as a particularly loud commercial turns on, a Casey, dependent on him and only him.

_No pressure._


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_You spoke for the others today. My... __our__ littlest sister started screaming when you said Hi Smarti. Lizzie... Lizzie won't come see you yet, and Edwin sends apologies for her, but some names mean nothing to you anymore. Does mine?_

Three months later, they've settled into the new apartment. It's barely big enough for two, but Derek's not complaining. It's not even an apartment really. Sam's parents had a "guest house" above the garage, with two bedrooms, a tiny bathroom and a kitchen/dining room/living room area. And with Sam living in Toronto, they didn't need the garage space either. So, he got a place for him and Casey, and a place to park the Prince, which was good because it was already almost falling to pieces. Not that he could afford anything better. He has to pay rent-way cheaper than anything actually on the market, since Sam's parents were great-and pay for groceries. And school. But his mom and Dennis were helping out with tuition, so he wasn't always strapped for cash.

"I think Dad found a loophole."

"What?" Derek asks, setting a plate in front of Casey with a crustless PB&amp;J.

"With her," Edwin says, nodding towards his stepsister. "If he can use it... D, I don't think it'll be good for you. Or Casey. It'll ruin you and she won't get better."

"Is Nora still-"

"Nora and Lizzie moved out, with Simon."

Derek sighs. "Princess, go eat on the couch. Your ballet show is on."

Casey grins and goes to sit on the couch in Derek's tiny apartment.

"What else is going to go wrong?"

"Liz is going to go to the States."

Derek meets his brother's gaze carefully.

Edwin's anger flares. "You knew?!"

"She made me promise not to tell you. Ed, she needs to do this."

"Can't you leave well enough alone!? Casey loved you, and look what happened to her! Don't let Lizzie make the same mistake."

Derek inhales calmly. "She's a MacDonald, bro. I can't stop her from doing anything."

"I can't believe you're joking about it! She's in love with you. You could have stopped her!" He shoves his brother backwards.

"Ed, enough."

"No. You've done enough! Are you happy? You've torn apart our entire family!" He punches his older brother before slamming him against the fridge.

A shrieked "Der-ek!" separates them instantly. Casey glares at the two Venturis, arms crossed and a scolding expression on her face.

Derek beams and hugs her tightly. "Hey, Case." She blinks at him before smiling and patting his cheek. Derek laughs and puts his hand over hers. "Thanks, Casey."

She nods and goes back to the couch.

Edwin puts his back to the refrigerator and sinks to the floor. Derek sits beside him.

"Der-"

"Don't apologize. I _could_ have said something, but she needs to live on her own, in her own way for a while. She'll come back, Ed."

"I still get compared to you. Nora wouldn't even look at me after you and Casey moved out. Dad called me Derek yesterday. Even kids in my grade remember _Venturi_ as you. It's hard, D."

"I bet it is. But real life doesn't get any easier. Look at Casey. She had it all, really. A loving family, good grades, a great future. Look where life brought her. Watching reruns of Barney and ballet in a teensy apartment with her step-brother as her only family. Life _sucks." _

"But it doesn't have to."

"Maybe. Or maybe someone up there," Derek gestures to the sky, "realized just how messed up we really are and decided to do something about it."

"Or maybe some moron decided to put a bomb on a college campus to create terror and destroy lives."

His older brother sighs. "Do you think they'll ever find who did it? It's been two and a half years next month."

"Justice hasn't exactly been swift. But maybe they will. We have to hold out hope."

"I don't want justice. I want revenge. And that," Derek says honestly, "scares the crap outta me."

"Why?"

"Because maybe whoever did it wanted revenge on someone. How far would _I _go? I've already destroyed our family. What's a life?"

Edwin shakes his brother by the shoulders. "Don't even talk like that, Derek. You aren't that kind of person."

"But what if I am? What if, deep down, we're all evil, depraved souls itching to wreak havoc on one another with the sole purpose of causing pain?"

Edwin stares at him in surprised at the poetic words. "What if, deep down, we all strive to be good?"

"The world doesn't work that way."

"But it should."

Derek nods forlornly.

…

[FLASHBACK]

"Flowers?" she giggles. "Derek, you didn't have to get me roses."

"I thought you'd like them, princess. I can take them back," he says from behind the camera.

"No!" she curls sideways, clutching the vase.

He chuckles, putting his camcorder on its tripod. "I was kidding, Case."

She gives him an impish grin. "I like daisies better."

"Yeah, why?"

"You'll figure it out."

Derek laughs, catching her around the waist. "You bet I will."

"Der-ek."

He kisses her softly. "Give me a clue."

Casey blushes and hands him a paper she had doodled on, their names intertwined and connected with a + sign.

"Derek plus Casey, huh?"

"If I tell you, they lose their meaning."

[end]

…

"Hullo?"

"Derek?"

He sits up in bed. "Lizard?"

"I need help. Mom won't let me leave. I swear, she's officially lost it!"

"She's in shock. She doesn't want to lose another daughter."

"She _stole_ my passport. And the car keys!" his step-sister complains.

Derek groans. "When is your flight?"

"Eleven-thirty. But I have to be like three hours early for international flights."

"Geez, Liz, eight o'clock?!"

"Derek, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate!"

"You haven't asked. Call Ed."

"What?" she asks, aghast at the suggestion.

"Call Ed. I'm sayin' no."

"Derek!"

"Good night, Lizard. Good luck finding your passport. Check behind the takeout menus in the kitchen. I used to find all sorts of stuff back there."

"Der-" *click*

He hangs up the phone, hoping he'd done the right thing. Ten minutes later, his phone vibrates with a text.

'Thanks.'

'No prob, bro. Go get her ;)'

'U r nicer when u r practically asleep.'

'Go away. Before I change my mind.'

'K. Thnx, Derek.'

Derek smiles to himself and sets the phone on his nightstand.

"Good morning, Spacey," Derek says around eight a.m. "I've got work today, Princess. Up and at 'em."

Casey gives him a pouty look. He laughs and throws her a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "Up. Get dressed. You can come with me today."

He shuts the door behind him, waiting for her to get ready. "You hungry?"

She opens the door and nods.

"Whaddya want?"

Casey shrugs.

"Nuh-uh. None of that. You yelled at me the other day. No more charades, Case. Talk."

She gives him a glare, but he just rolls his eyes, setting down a box of cereal, some toaster waffles, and the carton of eggs in front of her. "Cereal? Waffles? Eggs?"

She points to the Eggo waffles.

"Not gonna cut it, Case."

"Wwwwuh."

"Wwww-aaah-fuls," he sounds it out for her.

She nods excitedly and reaches for a plate.

He grabs her wrist. "Nope. Say it."

"Wwahfuls."

He grins and kisses her cheek. "Good job. Syrup too?"

"Yes!"

He makes up breakfast and helps her sound out a few more words, letting her happily babble about the tableware as he gets dressed for work at the diner. Soon, he'd have his degree finished and wouldn't be busing tables on the weekend for extra cash.

[FLASHBACK]

"Smarti, just gimme a hint."

"Smerek," Marti Venturi laughs through the phone, Derek's camera picking up the sound. "Casey already gave you two gigantic clues... Derek plus Casey equals... the flower."

"Huh?"

"G'bye, Smerek."

"Smarti!"

*Click.*

[end]

Derek laughs to himself, going over all the old footage he'd filmed. It had taken him almost a week, but he'd figured out the daisies eventually.

Casey pops her head in the door.

"Hiya, Case."

She smiles, coming in to sit next to him on the bed where he is sitting with his laptop.

The screen flicks to a Christmas party, and the video-Casey singing Christmas carols. To Derek's shock, Casey starts singing along. "We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

"Casey?!"

"Me?" she points to the screen.

He shouts in joy and hugs her tight. "Yes, yes, yes! Yeah, that's you, Casey. That's you."

"Derek, an' Ed. An'... who?"

"That's Lizzie, hon. Your sister. She just hasn't come to visit yet. But she will soon, I promise. Everybody is gonna be so proud of you."

"Help...talk?"

Derek chuckles. "Yep, we'll help you remember how to talk. Before, we couldn't hardly get you to shut up."

She wrinkles her nose, but smiles at him anyways. Four months. That's how long it had taken her to talk since she'd come home. Four months. Maybe they could do this, Derek thought. Just maybe.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_You remembered the daisies today._

It's almost been a year. They're a month short, but he can't believe the progress she's made since then. Derek smiles to himself. The doctors would be so shocked when they see her tomorrow in Kingston. She's fully functioning. Her vocabulary is limited, but considering Simon had helped her re-learn to read, Derek's okay with it. She'll pick it up quick, he knows, like everything else. Casey may talk like a child, but she's proving to be very lucid. In another four months, Derek guesses, she will be back to the same comprehension level she was at before the accident, meaning both he and Nora will no longer have any power over anything Casey-related. Meaning he won't have to sit through any more of Nora's ranting diatribes.

"Mom. Enough," Casey whispers.

Nora drops the file folder she had been reading. "Casey?"

She nods slowly, eyes flicking to Derek when he sighs in defeat.

"Baby." Nora rushes to hug her daughter but the younger woman is startled and leans closer to Derek. Nora purses her lips. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh...ok," Casey stammers. "D..d..Derek tole me you were mad at me an' him."

"Not at you Casey."

"But at Derek?"

Her mother nods.

"Then you're mad at me too. Cuz I love him."

Nora's eyes widen.

Derek groans, sticking his head in his hands. "Casey, sweetie. Don't tell her that; she'll think bad things."

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid," she snaps. "I just don't remember. God, bro."

Nora's head snaps up. "What?"

"Brother," Derek grinds out. "She loves her brother."

Nora smirks. "Of course she does. Come home, dear. Then you can be with your _other_ siblings."

Casey smiles hopefully. "An' Derek?"

"No, Case. Not me. I won't go back. It's your choice."

"It is _not_ her choice!" Nora shrieks.

Derek stands up. "It is, Nora. We... she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. And they'll tell us what we already know: that she's lucid enough to make her own decisions regarding her future."

Casey looks between them, taking a calming breath. "Tell me what happened. What caused all this? Mom, why do you hate my brother, your son?"

Nora glares at them. "He is not my son, and he's not your brother, Casey. He's... vermin. He's taking advantage of you."

"He's taking _care_ of me. Like I know he always has."

"He hasn't!"

Casey's eyes well with tears. "I have a headache," she mutters to Derek. "I'll be in my room."

"Casey-"

Derek goes to block Nora from following his stepsister to her bedroom. "Nora, let her be."

"She's my daughter."

"She's the love of my life," he comments matter-of-factly. "But life's not fair. So here I am. Here we are. I'll... we'll stop after her appointment tomorrow, to give you the news. And to schedule for meeting with the judge too, I'm sure." He sighs, feeling older than his 28 years. "Nora, it's been years since the accident. But she will get better."

"No she won't. It's not going to happen, even if you naively wish upon a star or use a lucky charm or even pray. Because I've tried, Derek. Believe me, I've tried." The older woman bites her lip and looks down the hall. "Tell her I said goodbye." She grabs her coat and leaves Derek's tiny home.

He breathes a tired sigh and goes to the kitchen to start making them something for dinner.

Casey comes down a few minutes later, pink eyes and cheeks, and a scratchy voice. "I'll have to choose, won't I? Them or you."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Casey... this... this whole thing started because you didn't want to _have _to choose."

She sends him a puzzled look but goes to set the table.

...

"Derek?" her voice quivers.

"What's wrong, Casey?" He's been her primary caregiver for over two years and he still journals for her every day, even though she's only read the first one.

"Isn't it almost Christmas?"

"Yeah, sweetie. Why?"

"Where's the tree?"

He chuckles. "Sweetheart, we don't celebrate Christmas. We celebrate Derekus."

Her nose wrinkles. "Derekus?"

"Yep."

"A holiday all about... you?"

"Yeah, ain't it grand?"

"Der-ek! Ain't isn't a word!"

Derek smiles. "You're right. Sorry, Casey."

"Derek."

"What?"

"Can we get a tree? Please?"

"Of course. But remember, it's a Derekus tree."

"We're not putting a picture of your head at the top."

He stares at her in shock, recognizing the faux biting tone from their banter from years ago. Derek then bursts into raucous laughter.

Casey smiles at him and he's taken back to old arguments and fights, and memories of almost- feel-good-family-moments, proms, heartbreak, D-rock, and the "same difference."

He stands up quickly. "Casey, I need to tell you that this Christmas... Derekus... whatever. It's not like it is in the movies, with food and presents... and family."

She blinks at him.

"Casey... I... I would give you anything in the world. But I can't give you your family back. I wish I could. I wish we could be with Dad and Nora, and Liz, Ed, Marti, and Simon all at once. I can't do that for you. I messed that up for you, and you'll never have a movie-perfect Christmas. It's my fault. And you don't even know why."

"Derek, look at me."

He meets her soft blue eyes. "What?"

"You're right, I don't know why. So tell me."

"You'll hate me."

"You're my big brother. I could never hate you."

Derek recoils. "Never mind."

"What? What did I say?!"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

She stomps her foot and gets off the couch. "I'm never going to get better if you treat me like a child!"

"You're acting like a child," he replies in a bored tone.

She pushes him. "I don't remember much of anything about Mom marrying George, or anything after that, or even what happened when I first came home... and I will never remember if you don't help me, just like you helped me start talking again."

"You'll hate me. And _don't_ call me your brother. I'm not your brother, Casey. I never have been."

"Then," she sits next to him again, taking his hand, "why take care of me? Why not leave me with Mom? Why not let them cut life support in the hospital?"

Derek studies her. "Did Lizzie tell you about that?"

"Edwin actually, the last time he was here."

"When he brought you the flowers last week?" Derek asks tersely.

She grins. "Yeah."

Derek mutters under his breath, but she elbows him gently. "He told me that Lizzie was sorry she couldn't come too, but she had a final that Monday. Guess what!" She's practically glowing in excitement.

He smiles at her enthusiasm. "What?"

"They're getting married!" She slaps a hand over her mouth for spilling the secret and then giggles. "Isn't it great!?"


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: Nora is OOC. Don't ask me why. I'm just the writer...**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_The first time you remembered Lizzie, it brought on a three hour long Skype visit full of tears and giggles and lots of snot. But it was worth it. _

It takes him a while to get used to. His little brother getting married. To _her_ little sister. He doesn't have a problem with it-of course not-but part of him always expected that they would be first, him and Casey. Now everything's changed, and what he always expected isn't happening. Quite the opposite really, Derek thinks with a grin. His mother's getting remarried. To Dennis. So that's what brought them to where they are today. He's sitting here in a tux, waiting to escort Casey down the aisle as their parents get married. It's all too familiar, but he has to remember that it's the first time for her. That walking down the aisle with her will happen not only today, but also in a few months at Lizzie and Edwin's wedding. He wants _her_ to walk down the aisle to _him_ someday, a vision in white with a smile that says she remembers everything, the good, the bad, and all that was in between.

Casey, on the other hand, was simply enjoying planning the parties and the weddings. Her bossiness and attention to detail drove Lizzie crazy, but it was just what their younger siblings needed to organize their wedding. Abby was more than happy to get to know her future step-daughter over wedding magazines and cake samples. The diamond glitters on his mother's ring finger. It is bigger than the one George gave to her, but that one sits up in Marti's jewelry box on a chain for her to wear around her neck someday at her own wedding, or prom, or something else glitzy. Thinking about his little sister makes Derek feel old. She was seventeen already. It makes Derek feel like he and Casey have lost too much time. But he can't dwell on that.

"You need help?" he asks through the door.

"I'm fine, Derek."

"Are you sure? I've been told that those zippers can be troublesome."

"You don't know it from personal experience?" her amused voice asks through the door.

"Well..."

"Never mind. I do need you, though. The door's unlocked."

He slips inside, a small smile on his face.

"I thought you said you needed help?"

She turns around, away from the mirror. "Do I look stupid?"

"You look nice, Case."

His stepsister blushes. "Thanks. Edwin said I looked like a princess."

Derek grits his teeth, not used to his brother's ladies-man status. "You do. You're beautiful."

"What..." she stops, looking at the ground.

"What? Ask me."

"What was our prom like? We... we went together, right?"

He sits down next to her, careful to not muss her sapphire blue dress. "You've been talking to Marti?"

"A little. She's so excited that Dimi asked her this year."

"Well... you're sure you don't want to try and remember on your own?"

"I'm sure," Casey answers.

"You wore a pink dress, and you looked like you were part of a fairytale. It..." his voice cracks, "it was magical. Even though I wasn't your prince."

"You weren't?"

He sighs. "No. We weren't...we weren't the way we are right now."

"But...how we were different? Isn't this normal for us?"

"Normal is overrated, Casey."

"The last time I saw Nora, she told me that I should be normal. That we're not normal, and that makes us wrong, or bad, or something."

"Nora?" he repeats, surprised at the use of her first name.

"She disowned us, didn't she?"

Derek kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"But, Derek-"

"No buts. We are the way we are. And you are absolutely gorgeous."

Someone knocks at the door. "Casey?"

"In here."

"Have you seen Derek?" Abby asks.

"He's in here too."

Abby murmurs something under her breath. It sounds like "Of course" to Derek's ears.

"Mooom."

"Coming, dear. This dress is so hard to manage."

"You're in your dress?!" Casey shoots up.

"Joking, dear. I just wanted to see the look on your face." Abby enters the room with a smirk.

"Not funny, Abby!"

She laughs, reminding Derek of when he was young and his parents were happy.

He grins and stands up. "I'll leave you ladies to it, then. When does the rest of the bridal party get here?"

"Within the hour. I think Lizzie's off someplace with your brother."

"Look in all the closets," Derek remarks. "Good luck, Case," he whispers as Nora enters the room. "Bye, Ma." He makes a hasty exit.

"Wait for me," Casey hisses, following him and slipping her hand into his, much to Derek's delight when he notices Nora's glare.

"You're going to have to go back later," he tells her as they make their escape.

"Later is fine. Not now. I just can't stand her! Who does she think she is, showing up here?!"

"She thinks she's an honored guest, that's who. Because she is."

"She's no one. She's not your step-mother anymore, and she's definitely not _my _mother. She's the bride's kids' former stepmother, for Marti and Edwin. She's the bride's ex-husband's son's mother. She's the groom's ex-wife. Why is she here?"

"Because she's family. Even if she says she's not, she is. Because Simon is here. Because your dad, on some level, still loves her, still hopes that you and she can reconcile, still hopes, like me, that you'll recover the family you've lost along with your memories."

"She hurt us. Family shouldn't hurt us."

"But they do. She didn't mean to; she thought she knew what was best. Casey, I've had a long time to come to terms with this. She honestly thought it would be better if we were never together, in any way. I don't know. I can't imagine that it would be better; we depend on each other. I need you just as much as you need me. Sometimes, I think I need you more."

"When did you grow up?"

"I had to."

Casey looks at the ground.

"Not just because of you, Spacey. But because it was time to grow up. It was time to be responsible. To be a man."

"I think you're a good one," she whispers. She throws back her shoulders. "Okay. I'm ready now, to go back in."

"Go get 'em, tiger."

She cracks a smile. "Thanks."

He watches her enter the room where his mother was getting ready.

"Hi, Mom."

Nora blinks in surprise as Casey greets not her, but Abby. The redhead hugs Casey warmly. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Better, thank you." The young woman smiles at Derek's mother. "You look beautiful, Abby."

The bride giggles. "Your father," she sighs exaggeratedly in amusement, "insisted on the whole to-do. I would have been happy enough in a nice evening gown-it's not like the white symbolizes anything for me."

"What's a wedding without white?" Casey asks, straightening her bridesmaid's dress. "Do you have the bouquets?"

"Yes, they're over on the table by Nora."

The smile drops from Casey's face, but a determined, polite expression immediately replaces it. "How are you, Nora?"

The older woman frowns at the impersonal use of her name. "Fine, thank you."

Casey takes the bride's bouquet and her own before turning away. She takes a step but looks back. "How's Simon?"

A fleeting look of warmth settles on Nora's face at the mention of her son. "He's good. Six now. Marti taught him the animal sounds wrong."

Casey snorts. "Like Derek did to her? _Nice_, Smarti."

"Thanks! What for?" The high school senior asks, breezing in with her dress haphazardly thrown over her shoulder.

"The animal sounds fiasco," Nora says grumpily.

"Part two," Casey adds with a grin.

Marti giggles. "You remember that?"

"No, Derek told me. You'd be surprised, how much he filmed and took pictures of back then. He remembers almost everything, if there's some sort of image to go with it. It's amazing really."

"You sound a little smitten," Abby says gleefully.

"Moom," Casey whines, mimicking Derek.

"Oh, no. What's she done now?!" Lizzie asks, entering the room without looking up from her cell phone.

Nora coughs, surprised.

The young woman looks up at her mother. "Oh. Uh, hi."

"Hi."

"Liz!" Marti tackles her step-sister for a hug.

"Hey, Marti. Casey."

The oldest MacDonald smiles. "Hey, sis."

"I want to see it!" Marti yells.

"Her ring?" Abby asks, enjoying the presence of her daughter, step-daughters-to-be, and her soon-to-be daughter in law. Or maybe daughters-in-law, if she has her way.

"Not _just_ her ring, I think," Casey admits.

Lizzie checks to make sure the door is closed and pulls off her shirt.

"A tattoo?" Nora asks, disdain in her voice. "I suppose your groom has a matching one."

"That's a little cliche. But he did get one."

"Where?"

"His ring finger. Edwin doesn't want a wedding ring."

"He'd lose it!" Marti and Casey intone in a deep voice to mock him.

"I think that's cool though. What was it of?" Casey questions.

Lizzie blushes. "An infinity symbol, kinda like mine. But, with my initials instead."

"That's so romantic!" Casey gushes.

"Are you _sure_ you're marrying my brother?" Marti wonders.

Lizzie punches her shoulder. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Did it hurt?" Casey asks, sliding her fingertip over the infinity symbol that spelled out the word LOVE if she looked at the correct angle.

"A little. But it was worth it."

Her older sister sighs. Marti looks thoughtful.

"Not until you're eighteen, missy," Abby says.

"But Mom!"

"No. Or else I'll send Derek after you. And Dimi."

Marti sighs. "I know, I know. But still... Lizzie dyed her hair before high school. I haven't done anything wild."

"And what would you call sky-diving with Dimi? Hitch-hiking to the US border without a passport? Moving Lassiter's car to the roof?"

"Normal teen stuff?" the youngest girl answers with an innocent smile.

"Nice try, Martina. But I know each and every one of those escapades caused Derek a mini-heart attack."

Marti giggles. "You have a point, Mom."

"Of course I do."

Nora sits in a chair near the door, wondering when she completely removed herself from this family. She didn't know her step-daughter had done any of those things. Until today, she didn't know Lizzie was getting married, or following in her sister's footsteps and choosing a Venturi. She also didn't know how well Casey had been doing, until she saw it for herself.

"I need some air," Nora says, quickly getting up and leaving the cramped little room.

Casey looks around, and then follows her. "Nora?"

The older woman turns to her daughter. "Please, Casey. Don't call me that."

"What do I call you? You disowned me last time. And the time before that. And the time before that."

"You don't know what it was like!"

"I had it ten times worse than any of you. Sure, I ruined your career, your marriage, your life. WHATEVER!" Casey shouts. "You did that all yourself, Nora. If you want to blame me, or Derek, or George, FINE. But why take it out on the whole family? Why not just let it happen? Obviously, whatever it is you're trying to prevent is happening anyways. It's with me and Derek. I don't know what, and I don't care. I know that this is right, and good."

"How can it be good? It's incest!" Nora says in a snippy tone.

"He's my step-brother. It's not illegal. And neither of us were ever adopted. It's not even all that uncommon. Just last month, I met a lady in the supermarket who married her stepbrother. They had a happily-ever-after. It wasn't easy, but she told me it was worth it."

"Casey, there's no such thing as a fairytale ending."

"Maybe there is. Maybe you just gave yours up because you refused to let me have mine."

Nora gasps. "You think he loved you? Casey, all he wanted was to have sex with you, just like he did with Sally, and Emily, and even Victoria!"

"He never slept with Vicky." Casey slips her phone from her handbag.

"How do you know? Fiona said-"

"I don't care what your sister said. If she's anything like Icky Vicky, she's probably a lying, cheating, manipulative _slut_. I wouldn't believe it. Derek would have told me."

"Why? Does he always tell you about his personal life?"

"Personal life?"

"Surely there have been girls, Casey. He's a man."

"He doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Then does he go out without you?"

"To see Sam. And to Kingston sometimes," she answers hesitantly, "to meet with his mentor at Queens."

"And you think he never goes out to a bar to pick up a girl? That he never goes to a strip club? That he never calls up one of his old flames?"

"He calls me every night he's not at home. We skype. There's no one in his room. There's no girlfriend."

"He doesn't need a girlfriend to have sex, Casey!"

"He doesn't. He has me."

Nora's eyes widen. "What?!"

"Derek doesn't have a girlfriend. He has me. And we don't have sex. We could, if I wanted." She fiddles with her phone, checking to see if Derek responds to her SOS text.

"Do... do you want that, Casey?"

The younger woman blushes. "Sometimes. But I don't remember. He's never done anything untoward, but I can't help but feel... this has happened before."

Nora clucks her tongue in disapproval. "Before. When you rejected him."

"What?"

"He tried to force you, Casey. He does it now too. Not with sex, but in other ways. He took you away from me, from your family."

"He took me away to protect me. To protect me from YOU!"

"To keep you from the truth!" Nora yells back.

"What? That my mother propositioned him?!"

Derek walks up behind her. "Casey?"

"I cannot believe you told her that!" Nora says, voice shaking in anger and disbelief.

"Told her what?"

"He didn't. He wrote about it. In my journal."

Derek blanches. "You know you're not supposed to read those by yourself."

"Why, Derek? Afraid I'd learn something you weren't ready for me to know?"

"Afraid that it'd hurt you," he whispers, looking at her as tears run down her cheeks.

She smiles softly before turning to glare at her mother. "I may not remember it, but I know I'd be peeved. I'm still mad now, and I can't remember anything about it. Other than the fact that you were drunk, according to Derek. Although I even doubt that."

Nora steps back as though Casey had slapped her. "Casey."

"What!?"

"I can explain."

"You think so? Fine, let's hear it."

"I thought he was taking advantage of you. So I invited Sally over one weekend that he came home without you. I paid her of course, but ever since she left, she wasn't the same, shallow thing that Derek fell for when you were in high school, even though, out of all of them, she had the most substance. She refused the money, refused to hurt you. So I found a cheap harlot, one of the cheerleaders from your school who was more than willing to get back at Casey after the whole Max ordeal."

"I went upstairs to find her in my bed without much on her except my sheets."

"And there was a video camera?" Casey prods, knowing the story from the journal.

Nora groans. "Yes. In the vent. She played her part well, you know. Not well enough, mind you."

"So you decided to step in?" Casey asks her mother. "Didn't you think it was wrong? Sitting there, making eyes at him? He's young enough to be your son, and he was with me, your daughter."

"He's a womanizing cad. You deserve better, and I could've proved it."

"If he didn't turn you down. If he didn't act respectful, even though he was shocked, and most likely _disgusted_. I know I would have been. But no, he ushered you downstairs to your bedroom, ignored your pitiful drunken pleas to stay with you, to keep you company, to _excite _you in a way that his father, and I quote, hadn't in a long time."

"I did it for you, Casey."

"You did it to HURT me. And congrats, Nora, you probably would have succeeded. I know you've always been good at twisting words so you come out as the victim. It happened with Dad, with all the boyfriends you had before George, with Grandma Felicia, with Derek, and now with this. It's never your fault, is it? You're just the victim. The one who gets hurt. The one with the incestuous stepson who threatens to destroy the entire family.

Casey heaves a breath. "Well, you can't have it both ways, Nora. You can't be both the perpetrator and the victim, the mastermind and the innocent one. I'm done playing this game of who's right, of who hurt you or who hurt me. I know that he's protecting me for real. He's always protected me."

Derek slips an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, and Nora? There is no better." Casey walks away, leaving Derek to keep up with her or fall behind as Nora nearly shakes in anger.

"Wow, Casey."

They round the corner and she nearly falls into his arms.

"That felt good," she whispers, leaning into his embrace.

"I bet." He grins and kisses her hair. "Go Casey."

She laughs softly. "Do you think she'll go now?"

"And miss the opportunity to tell everyone how Derek brainwashed her baby girl into believing every word he's said? Unfortunately, no. She'll stay. And I'm sure she'll try to use it against us."

"Good thing you have an excellent lawyer," Dennis booms from behind them.


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own _Life with Derek_.

**Chapter 9**

_You were the maid of honor at Liz and Edwin's wedding, and it was almost like you were back. You were smiling and happy, and you almost seemed like the old Casey. My Casey. _

It's been three years since the accident. They caught the guy who did it, finally. He came forward, confessed. It should have felt like a victory, but Derek feels his heart breaking at the same time.

"You want me to go to the States?"

Derek nods. "As a doctor, yes."

"And as my... as Derek?"

"As Derek," he quirks a grin, "I want you to stay."

"Stay... in Canada?"

"Stay with _me."_

"Then come with _me_. I don't want anyone else to do this, Derek. I trust you."

"Casey, it's risky. Even if we remove the shrapnel successfully-that's a HUGE if, like 40% chance-the lesions might be too deep. It doesn't mean you'll get your memories back. And there's only like a 5% chance they'll all come back right away. You may spend months or even years trying to remember everything."

"Derek, it's a miracle I'm alive. I'm hoping for a couple more miracles. But if not, at least we tried. I can't live like this. Even though I've read all the journals, I can't... feel it. I don't know. I just can't feel how I felt, or see what I saw. And I hate it. I know what's missing, it's like a big hole. And it hurts because I know there's supposed to be something there. I know it's important too. I need this."

"I know."

"Good. Let's call Dr. Elliot then."

...

"Derek?"

"I'm right here, Case," he assures her, taking her hand. The sight of her in a hospital gown again has him on edge but he puts on a smile.

"Are you sure I should do this? I mean, even though I can't remember... I'm okay."

"There's still shrapnel. Even a sneeze could dislodge it. You could go blind, or something even worse."

"Dead," she comments dryly.

"Yes, dead is worse. Besides, where'd all that bravado go? You need this, remember?"

"I know. I'm just nervous." She sighs. "Where are you today? You're the spacey one."

"Back there. In those moments. Before the explosion, trying to remember. Did I see him? Could I have stopped him? Stopped this?"

Casey sighs and sits up. "Bring me my bag."

He quirks an eyebrow but brings her the black bag and sets it on the bed.

Her hands shake as she pulls out a pristine envelope. "I got this last week. I... I didn't want to show you because I knew you'd be mad. And I wasn't ready. But...I think we are now." She opens the envelope, the name at the bottom making her gasp, even though she has seen it before.

"What?" He takes the letter from her hand. "Bennet?! That SOB! Why is he writing to you? And why now? Hasn't he done enough harm?!"

"Derek."

He meets her eyes and wordlessly hands it back. She skims it before clearing her throat and reading aloud.

_They tell me that I did not succeed. I destroyed, but not you. You survived, against all odds. All I wanted was destruction, chaos, and death. Not survival. _

_As I sit, rotting away, the news plays out the story of my failure almost hourly now. The heartless terrorist on trial gets less media coverage than the story of hope, the story of the sole survivor. Your story. _

_As you no doubt know, I had no target, only wanted to kill and destroy. But now... you should not have survived. I was there, watching. You and that boy-Venturi, was it?-were so close to the device. My cell phone counted down the seconds to the explosion of your fight, not only the detonation. But your argument, the one that had brought you so close, reached its explosion seconds before my own. I was so enthralled as you yelled at one another, the blast surprised even me. In the following chaos, I was frozen. Not out of fear or shock, like the other students, but by you and him. He rushed back to you as if you had never fought, and cradled you close. In the aftermath of such hatred and rage, I saw love. In that moment, the one I had longed for since I began my plan, I didn't feel triumph. I felt loss and fury and defeat and... destruction. I didn't even know you, but I grieved for you almost as much as I did for myself. I cannot fathom how he felt. _

_So I ran. I'd always planned to move closer, to die in the explosion. I'd made a plan for every eventuality. Except this one. I was supposed to be a victim. Granted, so were you. But you survived. And so did I. We're connected now-Calm down, Venturi. I won't try to steal your girl. _

_I know from the news that right as my sentence is being deliberated, you will be undergoing surgery. The vultures on the news stations have done an exposé on my life and on yours. They've speculated on my motives, but none of them got it right. I doubt that they have your picture-perfect life right, either. I've been made into a villain, you the damsel in distress. (Does that make Venturi the knight in shining armor? I'm sure he loves that.) All I wanted was to be a victim. They say on their day time talk shows or late night news reports that you were a writer. That you were going into journalism. So I choose you to tell my story. After the surgery. After you're better. Because you __are__ a survivor. You __need__ to survive, not because you're the perfect girl on the TV screen but because I'm sure you're not. _

_There was no abuse in my home. My father was not in the picture, this much is true. But my mother wasn't a monster. They say she beat me. But her methods weren't physical. She wanted the very best for me and would accept no less; __I__ would accept nothing less than sheer perfection. My scars, hidden under long sleeves and baggy sweatshirts, are only representative of the psychological ones I would inflict upon myself in the face of failure. Even the idea of it has me reaching for a razor now, even though it was the very first thing they confiscated from my cell. _

_My plan didn't begin as revenge on anyone. I was quiet; no one suspected, but do they ever? It was my endgame. It was the one chance I had to make something go perfectly-my death. It had to be public and big and a bit flashy... everything I was not. I was supposed to be perfect, and I was most definitely not. So I went for the antithesis of what people would probably have expected me to do, using my razor to cut just a little bit deeper... _

_You see, I'm a Queens alum too. Went through the law program, got a degree. The first two years after graduation were great. I joined a practice here in Kingston, won some cases, and got upgraded to a new, cushy office. Then I got my first big case: a client facing charges for three murders in the last two years. There was no proof, nothing concrete. At least not then. I won the case for him. Well, a hung-jury. But the charges were dropped. _

_The __next day__, it hit the news. He had killed again. This time, it was bold, bloody, and arrogant. He filmed it. That smug smile was all I saw when I was trying to erase my mistakes, my failure. He killed himself after the video went viral. He killed for fame and bloodlust. I killed for cleansing, for peace. He was a Queens grad too. I had to do something, so I did. That's why I chose the Quad. _

_I've gotten help. Before I turned myself in, I went to an old friend from high school, a shrink. She urged me to turn myself in, and to get help. She also suggested this letter. _

_I... I'm not right. I'm not perfect. No one is. But I don't know if anybody is as messed up as I am. _

_I don't know if I can apologize yet. I know, I may not have much time. They're considering the death penalty, and your surgery is risky, they've told me. _

_Please, give me that opportunity. Stay strong. Recover. Survive. The trial could take days, or months. Or maybe only hours. _

_I can't apologize yet. But I will hold on. Do the same. I need you to. The world needs you to. I'm sure Venturi needs you to. And __you__ need to. _

_Someday, I will say it, Casey. But we both have to get there. _

_ \- Lucas Bennett_

"It's time, Ms. MacDonald."

Derek sighs, taking the letter and folding it back up on her bedside table. "As much as I hate to say it, he's right, Case. Get through this, princess." He goes to kiss her on the forehead, but Casey stops him. Derek looks at her, confused.

She tugs him down to her height while sitting on the bed and wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him soundly.

"I love you."

He smiles wryly. "We need to say that when it's _not_ a matter of life and death."

She kisses him again. "It'll be okay."

"I'll hold you to that, sweetheart."

The nurse clears her throat amusedly. "Dr. Venturi. Scrubs?" She holds out a green pile of clothes.

He takes them with one hand. "I love you too, Casey."

She smiles and settles into a wheelchair. The nurse wheels her away and Derek can't help but feel the same panic from four years ago bubble up once more.

He changes into the scrubs and digs out a black, clothbound book from Casey's bag. He hadn't written in her journal in a while. He flips to the last page and scribbles one sentence. _I love you_.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_The first time, I wasn't here, waiting for you to wake up. Nora made sure of that. But in a way, I'm glad I wasn't. I don't think I could have handled this twice. You need to wake up, Case. Wake up, please. I need you to wake up..._

Casey sits up with a start.

Derek, eyes wide, heaves a sigh of relief. "God, Case. I thought I lost you again."

She blinks.

Her stepbrother groans and puts his head in his hands. "No. _No_, Casey. Not again, sweetheart. I need you here with me, Casey. I can't make you go through that all over again. You've gone through it, lived it, twice, and-"

"Derek."

He looks up. "Yeah?"

"What happened? ...I...I remember being at Queens, and we were fighting and then... it _hurt_, Derek. So much." Tears escape her eyes as her voice shakes.

He grasps her hands. "I know, baby. I know. But that was a long time ago. Almost four years. Do you remember anything after the explosion?"

Casey nods slowly. "It's ... it's blurry at the beginning. But then I remember living with you and... oh, god. Mom," she whimpers. "I... I can't believe she did all that... just to try and stop us again."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"What?" Casey questions, stretching cautiously as to not disturb her IV.

"That was what you wanted to avoid. The confrontation and having to choose. But I just _had_ to be selfish. I'm sorry," he chokes out, crying silently and resting his head on her hospital bed.

She runs her free hand through his hair. "Shh, Derek, shh. I don't blame you. I always would have lost something. Family, or you, or, if you weren't there after the accident, my mind and my life. As it is, I have almost everything I thought I wanted. And I've realized that a relationship with my mother isn't something I want anymore."

He sighs. "But, what about Simon? And Lizzie?"

"Lizzie's all grown up. And you know that George will win the custody battle."

Derek nods slowly. "He'll need someone to help him out with Simon."

She gives him a soft smile. "I'd like that. And maybe to go back to school."

"You could do classes online. From home. I'm not letting you out of my life again."

Her lashes brush her cheeks as she looks down at the blanket. "Derek, I hate to say this but... well, it's not you; it's me."

He chuckles. "What?"

Casey blinks back the wetness gathering in her cerulean eyes. "It's been _four years_ Derek. Four years that I've taken from you. That I've lost... I need to go out on my own and figure out who I am again."

Derek Venturi shakes his head, clutching her hand. "No. No, you're Casey. You're the same as you always were."

"But I'm not." She smiles sadly. "Derek, you need to let me do this. And you can't stop me anymore. But please don't be mad."

He stands up roughly. "Don't be mad?!" He curses. "God, Casey. After all this... I finally get you back... and you're gonna leave?!" his voice cracks. "Fine. Throw it all away. Lizzie and Ed have a key to our... my place. Whenever you can leave... you can come get your stuff. Some of it's still in storage at Dad's. I'm sure you'd be welcome there. Or at Ed and Lizzie's place. Or with Mom and Dennis."

"Derek." Casey tries to interrupt, a hurt expression on her face. "Derek, I just need time."

"Casey, I've given you _four _freaking _years_."

"That's not fair. It wasn't my fault."

"And, what? It was mine?!" He grunts. "You haven't changed a bit, Casey."

"Neither have you," she spits back angrily. "Get out, Derek. Get out of this room and get out of my life, if that's what you want so badly."

He stops short. "That's not what I want at all."

"Then let me go."

Derek groans. "That makes no SENSE!"

"I will come back. I promise."

"Sure." He shrugs, grabbing his coat and walking to the door.

His hand is on the knob when she calls, "Derek..."

Her step-brother won't even turn around. "Yeah?"

"I'll come back."

...

"I can't believe you're here. I mean, you're really here!" He reaches out for her, but his fingers brush the bars and he pulls back.

Casey sighs. "Yes, Lucas. I'm here."

Lucas Bennett grunts. "Come to see the monster?"

"I've come to see the man who asked me to survive. To show him that I did. To show him that there's hope."

"Hope?" he laughs humorlessly. "Casey, they've all but decided on the death penalty. It's been, what, two weeks since I wrote you? I can't believe they haven't decided yet."

She shakes her head. "I contacted your lawyer, who stopped the proceedings. There's one more witness."

"Who's that?"

"Me."

He finally looks her in the eye fully. "Why? Are you crazy?! I ruined your life!"

"You _changed_ my life. You ended some lives. You ruined _your_ life."

He shifts in his seat. "And I deserve whatever they decide."

"Did they deserve to die?"

"What?"

"Those dozen-something kids. Did they deserve to die?"

"Fourteen. There were fourteen. And I killed them."

"Did they deserve to die?!" Casey hisses through the bars of his cell.

He whirls away, turning his back to her.

"Lucas," she whispers, kneeling next to the door.

He lifts his head, tears on his cheeks. "No. They did not."

"And neither do you."

Lucas Bennett shakes his head. "Fourteen people. Fourteen sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, lovers... Fourteen!"

"Fourteen people whose deaths will haunt you, whose deaths you will have to live with for the rest of your life."

He nods. "Not quite the pep-talk I was hoping for, MacDonald."

"But you can spend the rest of your life trying to make up for it, trying to make the world better."

"I've already made it so much worse."

Casey rolls her eyes. "Did you know," she says slowly, "that Derek was going to be a professional hockey player?"

"Huh? Venturi? Yeah, I saw him play that winter. Before..."

"That was before. After, he took care of me. Went back to school. Became a surgeon. He's the reason I'm here. But I'm not the only one. He's saved others, others who may have died. He's just one man, but he can change the world; he already has."

"So?"

She rolls her eyes. "So you could too."

...

"Ms. MacDonald! Ms. MacDonald!" the voices outside the courtroom nearly deafen her. Casey raises a hand to shield her eyes as flashes go off left and right.

"Casey!"

She smiles, grabbing the hand offered to her. She lets the lawyer usher her to the waiting unmarked police car where Lucas was waiting to be escorted to the prison where he would likely spend the next fifteen years, having agreed to community service and psychotherapy in addition to the sentence that would be officially announced next week.

"I want to say thank you."

"I didn't do it for you, Lucas. I did it for the people you'll save one day. The people you'll keep from going to jail, from the death penalty."

He nods. "I know. So I'll say thanks for them."

"So, Lucas Bennet, how did it feel to know you won't receive the death penalty?" Casey asks, using her best reporter voice as she clicked the recorder on, conducting her first official interview with the man she helped save.


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_I never told you this, not in any of these journals or to your face... well, not since _that_ day... but Casey, I love you. I always did, and I think I always will. Even if you don't come back... _

The doorbell rings.

"Can I get it? Please, please, please?" the bundle of energy that is Simon Venturi pleads with Derek.

Derek nods at the seven-year-old, following him to the front door. "Go ahead."

"Yes!" Simon shouts. "I love spending the night here, Derek! I wish I could every night!"

He laughs. "You almost do!" Derek tickles his brother, hoisting him up for a piggy-back ride and opening the door.

Derek's jaw drops and Simon squirms to get down, out of his arms.

"CASEY!" He tackles her, arms wrapping tight around her waist.

She holds out a bouquet to Derek.

"Daisies," he comments with a grin.

Casey shrugs. "They're my favorite."

"Come on in. Si, let her go for a sec. She probably can't walk with you hanging on her like that."

The little boy pulls back, brown eyes looking up at his half-sister. "Casey?"

"Yeah, buddy?" She asks, pushing his blond hair out of his face.

"You missed my birthday. Like... five of them."

Derek snorts, walking back to the kitchen where he had been making mac and cheese and hotdogs for dinner.

"You're right," Casey agrees. "But you'll have to wait a tiny bit longer, okay? I have to catch up on shopping for all those presents."

The boy sighs. "Okay." He goes back into the kitchen but stops short, turns around, and hugs her again. "You being back is the best present of all anyway."

She laughs a little, bending down to kiss his forehead. "Thanks, Simon."

"Yuck." His nose wrinkles. "You should only do that to Derek. I don't want any kisses. Girls have cooties!"

"You've got that right!" Derek calls from the kitchen. "Hear that, Spacey?"

The little boy's eyes widen. "But not _you_, Casey."

Casey giggles. "Oh yeah! Well you better run, or else you'll find out." She slips off her shoes and drops her bags before chasing him around the house.

He darts into the kitchen and under the table. She comes sprinting in after him and skids on the tile in her socks, right into Derek.

"Klutzilla," he teases, grabbing her by the waist to steady her.

"Jerk."

He laughs. "Welcome home, Case."

She smiles. "Told you, I'd come back."

Derek rolls his eyes. "Yes, dear." He bends down, kissing her soundly.

At the lack of Casey's retort, Simon peeks out from under the tablecloth. "Oh, yuck!" He didn't care what Derek thought; girls _did_ have cooties.


End file.
